The beginning of this week looks drastically different to the end of this week.
What can I say? It feels surreal at this moment, but I think that's the sleepiness from menstruation day one. I have been stressed, scared, feeling vulnerable, feeling immense amounts of love, feeling embodied, graceful, loving, giving. I have been FEELING!
It's amazing to be human, the amount of things we can feel. The amount that I can feel and release and be resilient. Whilst the majority go through panic buying and anxiety en masse, I can deal with my feels and move through them (although worth noting; I haven't done as much movement as I'd have liked -- and now it's my period so I rest!) I have done a lot of hard work, and it shows. What I have cultivated within myself, a lot of people still need to figure out. I feel like once I am able to handle the stress factors, like say, as the months go on in this pandemic, I can reach out and be there to help.
Right now, it's possible I am going to be called to the front line. It's most likely coming since one staff member self-isolating for at least a week. Possibly two. My body is feeling the stress and anxiety of others, and of the potentials I know may happen in my own circumstances.
I am more centred, and have softness for my mother rn. It's beautiful. I still maintain all of my boundaries, but now chat when she is able to be soft too.
Tenderness, the human spirit, people coming together. I love seeing all of this.
This week I have remembered more from my childhood, how freeing it felt. How alone I mostly was so these times don't bother me that much, but that child me had plenty of fascination and endless love. I know whatever comes, I have my own back and I know I can get through this.
I got worried about Will and he's since emailed me back. I am yet to check in on Rich, but I want to be able to hold space if he has stresses and worries (which means I want to be present with all of me, and that is not yet.) I feel like he's possibly doing the same.
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