space for self care.

 storms are abound, but they're there, i don't care, i let them pass. i leave room for self care right now, and allow the pace of life to come to me. the next phase of life is around the corner, and i don't know what it looks like but i know it is better than anything i have ever known. it'll require me to step up and into all i have learned. i am ready. for now i rest. i look forward. i smile.

tired out by hiking, i'm in it cos i like it.

 i walked and walked today, through the wind and warmth of the sun, through the mud and open space, by the reservoir and near enough the sheep, the ducks and all of the birds. spring buds are starting to bloom a little, i love the fresh open air and the sound of water running. i love life coming anew again. i can't keep thinking on how it could have been, it wasn't. i now invite more aligned people and i am confident i will find them somewhere along my path in life.

these boys ain't shit.

i am opening up again, to myself, to my body. i am not settling for less now, and i open my mind and my heart for bigger and new and more aligned things. things on the path to love, with love, all for love.

society itself is based on trauma.

 i believe in love, i will find love, i bring love to me. i receive and give love at a high vibe. i have wanted this all my life, and i will achieve it. i dream things and i make them happen. i am confident i will find those rare people who are alike.

go forth and envision

 this is how you'll feel, this is who you'll become, this is where you'll be and how you'll be. the people and scenes and things you'll be around. the things you enjoy and know inside your heart. the love you'll give and receive and find. there is a lot left in life for you to live.

i'm a woman oh oh oh oh oh oh.

 i can't get that song outta my head. i've been being a superwoman and doing a million things today. my eyesight has improved apparently. so now i have to find out how much it is to replace my lenses. Bumsley told me he appreciates me and that I have a voice that makes him feel relaxed. another person has said the same!! this gives me a path back to me. and my voice matters. i love the things i have now in life, and I am ever grateful. but i will always keep reaching for more, because i deserve it.

i grieve and let go.

what's not meant for me can be dropped, i need to let the deadweight go because it is not serving me. it's heavy. and yes, it's okay to feel sad. i had a lot of hope but now i just need to get excited about new things. maybe do the whole spoken word poetry thing, rollerskating, crotcheting and sewing!! loads of things to try. dance in the summer! more cooking/baking. ffyeahhh!!!

i'm not bypassing the sadness, but merely reminding myself there's more ahead once i've felt these feels. doin' it for myself. i deserve support, help, community, love. i've never really had that, or guidance, or parents being parents so yeah, it's my aim to try to heal those parts.