Invite the space to breathe in to.

We let go of the stories that no longer serve us, we unfold into the space in between where we are and where we want to be.

I feel I'll never belong. I feel I'm going nowhere, but it isn't true. I have come far, and I will do more things. People will help me along the way. I'll figure it out.

Rest, love, rest.

There is real joy and peace in doing absolutely nothing. I loved having a very quiet Christmas, and judging by everything I have been told about their time in London; it was just more of the same bs that I didn't miss out on! Life spared me and preserved my calm state. I was surprised to be messaged by many a friend, and even had two phone conversations. I had rich and tasty food treats, overindulged on sugar and just chilled out on the sofa watching movies and TV. I went out for a walk and there were people out and around, one man fixing Christmas lights on his shrub plant, some people bringing things in and out of their cars. An elderly couple - the woman with a walking stick walking around. I enjoyed seeing all of the pretty lights, hearing the birds and taking in the calm and cool atmosphere. Today's walk was refreshing with rain, and one guy who lives around the corner and down the street wished me a Merry Christmas and asked if I was on a post Christmas walk. It was nice to hear a human voice today. And I'm thankful that Rich asked if I'm okay last night.

Whatever feelings are coming up and trying to process, and will hopefully be released. Old confusion, and knowing I can now receive love no matter what happened anyway. And I care for myself and love myself a lot too.

Always do what is best for you.

Vulnerability is scary, but I'm tired of being alone in this world. No one is here to help me, but maybe aid me in helping myself. This upcoming year I can feel that major shifts and changes will be occurring. Possibly, I might be able to find a small place in this world. I don't owe anyone anything, not even an explanation when they don't actually genuinely care about me. Find the people who are on my path, they're there awaiting me.

Humanness is a Minefield.

I know I'm being invited to slow right down, to go with the flow of the season and just rest and calm down. Today, my anger demanded to be released and it showed me that I need to take up my power again, to be in my power and to shatter the glass ceilings from within which I currently stand. My rage surprised me so I decided to transmute that into big energy, and also into calm and peace. I have forgotten so much about life and what is out there, the British way of being, seeing, and thinking.

Life is about to change on me, so I must change with it.

And remember, always keep remembering. Keep going back on my knowledge and keep finding myself.

Shame is a killer.

Choose goals on how you want to feel, ask yourself with every decision if it will bring you closer to that feeling or further away from it.

I manifest feelings of safety with others. I can and will be tender and vulnerable, feel seen and known and heard, be held by others and be tender and a safe space for others. I allow this to happen and it is achievable.

I want to feel present in my body continuously and take the utmost care of my health and wellbeing. I will always come back to my body, I can embody and I shall. Everything I do will be graceful, mindful, and with heart. I will become aware, stay aware, correct my posture and my feelings about myself in this world as a being in a body.

I believe my body issues will get resolved, and I wholeheartedly accept the parts that I cannot change. I will not settle for anybody who is less than enthusiastic about my body. I am my greatest champion, I will not let that fade. I am never allowing that to slide.

I feel proud of myself, and I will continuously remind myself of how far I have come, and all of the progress I have made. This world can easily feed you to the lions, and I have managed to navigate a life without having a life in the world and become better for it.

I know I will find my way. I may be mostly alone in this world, but I believe I will be supported throughout my life. I choose myself, I choose love. I choose all of the things we are told to forget about in order to be productive. I will rest, I will be my best - for me.

From your eyeballs to your entrails.

You are more than your body.
You are your hopes, your dreams, your kindness, your love; and you can create yourself over and over again. Anything is possible if you can conquer your mind. You can conquer your mind if you work with your fears, and build healthy daily habits to move you forwards. Life is an endless spiral, we always learn and will continue to learn. But never forget the lessons. Express yourself, feel deeply, become vulnerable with the right people for you, leave when you need to, and always be your own best friend.

Health is important, but sorting out these intangible things are just as important.

Sadness brings stillness, and there you find what you are looking for.

Rest, little one. Honour where you are at.
Ask yourself 'why' for all of your behaviours/actions/non-actions. Other people's stuff is not mine to carry. My role in this place is changing because I am shaking things up.
Turn towards your pain, sit in it; and then become congruent by being curious.

Get real with yourself, splurge all your feelings out in the form of writings. What are you not good at? Know what you need to honour with yourself, know what you value and what matters to you. Your behaviours have to be in alignment with your values, and you can place boundaries around those things. Stand in your own agency. Take action and do something, you are what you choose.

I am thankful for being treated to a cappuccino by Will earlier this week, and buying myself a corduroy skirt from Primark. I allow my feelings to be here right now. I am allowed to feel these things. I am going to be okay, my period is coming and I am more hungry and more sad than the norm.

Always gotta have self compassion in these times. I know I am doing what is best for me, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.