dance with your feet in the earth. do art. bring joy back to you.

gentle waking, beautiful sunny and warm day. i moved my body, i nourished it with my own made salad. i danced in the garden barefoot; i walked around barefoot too. got some more glass painting practice done, the beauty is in the progress. i stretched, i embodied, i listened to embodying songs (and classic rock!) life moves by so fast, it's hard to catch these proper summer vibes and long warm nights. i appreciated the flowers, the bee covered in pollen. the smell of lavender and the humid warm air. the furious breeze. the delicate offerings of summer. all gorgeous and openly ripe. i am wholly amazing and i always have me.

look towards the summer skies.

befriend yrself again. come back to immersing in nature. move yr body in many ways. be generous and giving with others. connect. laugh. cry. live. try.

paper planes and playground games.

i went to town today for the first time since lockdown began and so many people were not being cautious or keeping socially distant, and not many people at all were wearing masks indoors where they can't socially distance. i was confident in the library at the beginning, but i didn't stay only to return a book back. the rest of it made me breathe so hard i felt by the end of the trip i hadn't been breathing much at all. deep breaths on the way home. at least i thoroughly cleaned everything and did my own good hygiene routine in these strange times. and i am glad it's been warm today. felt like summer again.

anyway, my period is slowly returning to a 28 day cycle it seems. and they want me to spring and go to the lakes tomorrow when it is due on. can't do it with less than 15 hrs notice. a is gonna be disappointed.

i made quesadilla's tonight and they were excellent.

there's loads going on in terms of me remembering my past, people like becky getting in touch again, all ptsd stuff coming back up.

i wanna say something i've learned since my last post but currently, i need rest.

soft glow, stay.

everyone deserves to feel accepted as they are. to be loved for their jiggly bits, their misunderstandings, their thoughts, their dreams and inner narratives. even if they are vastly different from our own. everyone gets to have their own worldview, as long as they respect and maybe even try to understand yours. truth is skewed by our perspectives. be kind, be gentle, be loving.

i'm a goddess on my knees.

tapped into my fierce animalistic and tiger/lion side this morn' -- and my 90s bxtch goddess woman love side too. got it all out and embodied. mmm, i love that feeling. decided it's just friendship and moved on. could be pre period feels, though.

so good to feel back into my body.

i've been carrying tons of trauma and stress, think i've been picking up on dad's vibes. it's been so slow-going. i just listened to my body, gave myself tons of rest, extra sleep, and didn't worry about anything else. things flow. i will get back to a good place again.

Feelin' alive again, alive again!

You come alive in everything you do, because you are there and you are present. You are open and experiencing feeling fully alive once more, it has all returned. Continue scripting, dancing silly moves with the music, writing and honing your craft, trying new things, and appreciating nature. You've got this. You are a revolution simply because you exist, because there are no spaces in society for you - you create your own; by just being!

I want to be in love with me, always.

This afternoon I got some time to myself. I sang so loud and from my heart, I danced and moved in my body, I treated myself so tenderly because I felt so tired. I am coming back to me, I love me first and foremost. I am here for me and what I love, what I desire, my pleasures and my wellness. I am coming alive again. Everything and everyone will fall into place, I trust myself wholeheartedly and I believe in myself.