the disguises of rage.

six disguises of rage

fight, flight, and shrink types.

fight types - dominance and defiance - feel forceful energetically.

dominance - critical, controlling, judgemental, perfectionist, dismiss others, abuse power. control to make sure never controlled - terror of tenderness.

defiance - anger, in your face, defensive. need to be seen, understood and affirmed - they want to be right. fear of defeat and annihilation.

flight types - distraction and devotion - overly responsible in the world.

distraction - restless, anxious, overextended and impulsive. feel they ought to be important - they have something to prove. driven towards pleasure and instant gratification. stay busy with self-defeating diversions in order to avoid feeling deficient or empty.

devotion - accommodaters/pleasers, avoiding of conflict. care for others in hopes of being cared for in return - but that never quite happens. invisible pain to others. wear a happy face to avoid feelings of unworthiness.

shrink types/fade types - dependence and depression - hypersensitive.

dependence - self-doubting, confused/uncertain, guarding against rejection. maintain emotional/financial instability to ensure a sense of connection and avoid distinction and avoid the accountability of personal power. shows up as not having plans/"i don't knows", "we'll just wait and see" or "others know best." a fear of taking up space.

depression - self-abandoning, withdrawn, avoid attention, a need to not take up too much space. sensitive, would rather disappear than disappoint others. shut down to minimise stimulation and avoid overwhelming feelings of sadness/humiliation.

the wisdoms of rage -- embodying your shadows.

if you don't own yr shadow aspects, they'll come to you in other forms - you'll marry them, they end up being your boss/co-worker, children/pets and we battle against this disowned aspect with ourselves externally with the other person/people.

dominance - shadow to this type is dependence and vice versa (so dependence's shadow would be dominance). when dominance can embrace and embody some of the wholesome qualities of the dependence disguise, wisdom is ripened. will know when they acknowledge their hurt more, will be less critical and controlling, and more curious. they then become more perceptive and open-minded.

defiance - shadow to this type is devotion need to give more to/serve others, they then become more aware of their impact. able to embrace human frailties - see the human experience instead of "us and them" mentality. experience their truth more instead of defend it. as they soften into their own devotional needs, they become more fierce with clarity and they become more intuitive in what they're seeing and feeling. they cool down their defiance.

distraction - shadow to this type is depression so that they can slow down and be in a place of solitude. feeling into the exquisite beauty of doing less and feeling more, they become more grateful of what they have, and serve others more than absorbing and acquiring more things/possessions/material stuff. Invest in simplicity, see the quality in nature and hang out without anxiety. capacity to be still and in solitude. start to have more spontaneity and a higher vibration of inspiration and simplicity. can just be instead of needing to do/manufacture.

devotion - shadow to this type is defiance they fear being angry towards someone. but as they become more defiant, they're then able to set and maintain healthy boundaries. they stop betraying themselves, no longer overextend themselves for others. start to respond to their own needs, and feel more of a genuine sense of harmony, generosity and mutuality.

dependence - shadow to this type is dominance so they can control the details of their lives, trust their instincts more, and answer the q's they are usually asking outside of themselves. being to appreciate their own originality, artistry, creativity, their imagination. they no longer question or doubt any of that.

depression - shadow to this type is distraction  so they move towards activity in a warm and welcoming way, get to invest more in a sense of embodiment and aliveness. a shift from grief more to gratitude. they can see possibilities. begin to ask for and receive what they want. then there;s deeper satisfaction when there's solitude and more empathy. the capacity for deep connections and friendships lies here.


these all tame rage and shame when embodied.