i've tried to talk to rich and go in from a place of love but he's not at the place i am in life, and he seems to be dug in with his issues. he reminds me of brett, and i'm so tired of it. between his ignoring behaviours and what he told me about his violent past, i don't think he is someone for me. yet, i think because i'm coming out of the abuse - it's a bit like a deer out of headlights, wondering what it really was and being confused about how much he used me vs what his kindess was all about vs his desperation etc etc.
i've been through this process before, i can heal and move on. it'll take time, and i don't miss him. i miss what it could have been. but he's not capable of moving towards working hard to being healthy with me.
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