slowing down is a revolutionary act.

the seasons show us what to do, we only have to observe. a lot has been coming up for me, and i have an idea to write on a leaf "thank you, rich. i love you. goodbye." and let it go. today, i imagined releasing rich way across the sea as he disappeared toward the horizon. i let go of the parts of my past which helped me to survive but weren't good ways to cope in reality. i let go of what is not meant for me. i let go of all of that that has taught me and led me to want to learn. i thank all of it, but it is no longer mine to carry. i kept saying i miss rich in between spoonfuls of leek and potato soup. and all the while, it clicked, i am having to let go and do this deep process because i have always wanted, needed and lately i have also asked for more. and i deserve so much more. i deserve people who can at least meet one of my needs, not zero of them. who can be emotionally mature and have done/want to do the work to learn. there are people, and i've already called people in higher places towards me like shameme. i am getting there, slowly but surely. my thing is to focus on rest and preparing for next week's tree planting and chris visit.