it's a plague, no, just a cold.

I have a cold, since Friday. I missed out on the quiz and looks like I'll miss out on the dance class tomorrow too. I have been in deep rest, I'd forgotten what that meant. 9 or 10 or 11 yr old me keeps coming to me in my mind, she wants to remind me that my life path can change, that I can choose better food, that my social life was supposed to be different. I can make these changes, things have come back full circle. Dad told mum I ain't going for Xmas and she called me selfish. Yeah, like my entire former life where she had the control and kept me isolated and abused and traumatised me. So like, hah.

I changing cycles, I doin' this now. The past is fully leaving me and being laid to rest. Something new is coming. I've been feeling it, food stuff has come back up. And now with this cold. I'm meant to rest and be alone. Be at peace within and all will be revealed. I am kinda scared. But here I go.