i really wanted to make it with you.

sank into a deep depression within the past 24 hrs. not sure if it's to do with ovulation timing, as mood has dipped around then for the past couple of months. maybe it's just winter/missing rich. i'm being pulled back and slapped in the face with all that i didn't have surrounding me in my prior life to now, like people, community, anything. i've always only had myself and i'm reminded that trying to build community from just that isn't going to be easy at all. and i don't know what to do next on my journey and everything feels so unclear compared to a week ago, it's strange!!!

i'm hoping this wears off. maybe too much time allowing myself complete relaxation has gotten to me. this too shall pass.