It's not what you do, but how you do it.

I noticed today that I was filled with anxiety, even though I thought I felt alright. Getting through each thing just to get through should no longer be a requirement. I need to remember why I am meeting up with Will - we ended up having a great conversation for an hour. Even though I forgot to ask him about his ghost stories, and his about his supportive/not parents -- we still flowed with conversation quite easy. I think he was hinting at buying me a hot chocolate because then he got something else to drink. Another sort of tea. I want to stop myself when I feel I have no control in the moment, and even ask for a minute - go to the toilet or something, perhaps, just to regain control over my whizzing thoughts. I wish we could meet outside the cinema/coffee shops space, and do something entirely different. He suggested to me going to a Bolton football game, just for the experience. I am desperate to try new things at this point, because doing what scares me is a good way to find my edges. I even agreed to meeting another OK..you know what guy for a coffee. It has to be done, because the more people I meet of my own volition, the more I get to know about life. Just listen to them, really. Get to know people and what their lives are like out there, figure out whether people are my kind of people or whether despite all the tons of differences we can still be friends. Just go wherever things take me, but do it with purpose. Do it with heart, enthusiasm and not to just get something over with and done with.

I promise you, moving out of this comfort will bring you so many rewards.