breathe the frosty air and come alive.

all about staying present with what is. i'm thankful for getting to go to van gogh alive with Ash, expensive but at least he's been introduced to art. then making a plan together to go Leeds and getting Pizza Punks! omg yes - fresh orgaXsm of a pizza. then wandering around the craft/arts/alt xmas indoor markets and nearly buying another book on trees. idk if he was figuring to buy it for me or no? but anyway, we then stopped off at tim horton's on the way home and got a hot chocolate, and tim bits to share. he wanted to hug me - ugh. i allowed him this time, but yeah - don't see it as anything other than friendship. he's got to come to his own and stand in his own power/sovereignty before being equal with me. i dislike people who are leeching my loveliness off of me because they see my enthusiasm etc. but honestly, i was just glad to be seen and heard and known. i was annoyed when he kept telling me things like "you should have some mcdonald's" or "i think it's time you try red meat" even though i said i haven't since a kid, or "you must have whipped cream and marshmallows on your hot chocolate" like ugh, i know myselfffffffff. and actually, that's a projection of his stuff onto me. he kept going on about next time he'll have to join crafting with me, or he needs to try things out that he wants to do. though he wasn't sure what. except to own a tag heuer watch ugh. but fair dos, his grandfather was always about flashy consumerist watches. he gets along with his family swimmingly but apparently they worry about him, or so he thinks. he was on about his mental health but v vaguely and idk, he didn't reveal too much. not v much into him other than a friend to explore with. if he pays for train journey to ldn and accomodation, i'll do the art galleries etc there with him like he wants.

i rested proper this weekend, first snow arrived, first proper ongoing frosts. i hope it gets milder and better later this week. then i got down to crafting - origami fails but at least we had a laugh and then some re-purposed origami paper to make christmas fan paper decor. saw mark, but he was with lucky so minimal convo. they were apparently talking about me right before i came in the room! ah dear, idk if i can get time without lucky with him. lucky took over the convo - asked for my number and gave me her new one. " accidentally deleted" my number apparently but she still has r's lol.