Validate and differentiate.

i can control
my energy
my choices
my behaviour.

keep in a mindset of growth and excitement when around family.

1. It’s impossible to please everyone.
2. It’s OK for me to do things differently.
3. I only have to handle this moment.
4. My mother is responsible for her own experience.
5. No one can upset me without my permission.
6. I am not responsible for making my mother happy.
7. I am always at choice in how I respond to situations.
8. I can remove myself from a situation if I’m uncomfortable.
9. It’s OK if things don’t go as planned.
10. Choosing an empowered mindset is a major step in my healing.
11. Approaching the holidays consciously is a gift to myself.
12. I commit to loving myself no matter what happens.
13. No matter how my mother treats me I will not abandon myself.
14. I don’t have to take the behaviour of others personally.
15. I am always safe within myself. All is well.

It's okay that they haven't changed. I don't need them now to take care of me, I am doing it for me now. Plenty of evidence that I'm good/safe without them. Like self nourishment, gentleness. Lots of self-care. Inner child work, and inner mothering. Don't replicate the ways in which I was mothered. Don't blend with inner child completely, be with my little being, but stay aware I'm still the adult. Contingency plans, prioritise self, and if they do something terrible - respond to inner self saying I will not react and do something else instead. They're adults and I need to prioritise myself, they make their own choices and I can pull back and help myself.