don't wanna focus on the past.

there's nothing there anymore, it's gone. it's all but a memory, i must move on. i finished reading harriet the spy today, and i can so relate to her loneliness. i miss my childhood but i can never go back. i have to carry this pain forever, the things i never got. the people who i never got to love in person and all that. idk, i gotta focus on building the new.

like tomorrow, going to a boardgames meetup where i can focus and see if that's something i'm into. just be there, fully. you can do this.